Do I Have Reason to Be Annoyed or Is It Just the Pregnancy Hormones?
Ok so I am 34 weeks pregnant and work full-time as a nanny to a little girl who is just about 3 months old. Every day I drive her to her moms office around lunch time to breastfeed. We live in Portland, OR so its cold, and often quite rainy. I am only paid $700/month to watch their child full-time, the trade off is that when my son is born, he will (theoretically) be going with me to work and I will care for both infants. In the meantime though, I've just been caring for their child solo, since the day she was born (I was required to be there even when mom was on maternity leave for 6 weeks), for the same salary. I love their baby, and I like them as people, but I hate the pay and even moreso I hate their demands sometimes (when dad travels I have to be there at 3:30am...and don't get off until 3:30pm), help with laundry (which is supposed to be sorted and I just toss it in the wash but I've been lectured before for washing a cashmere sweater that she put in the laundry bin...so now I'm supposed to sort through it myself which is foul because their underwear is in there and she uses re-usable sanitary napkins...ew). Plus when I was hired it was agreed that I would do the babies laundry and toss in some of their clothes, if there was space in the washer and if their clothes had been sorted for me. But I find myself doing one load of baby laundry per week and about 3 loads of just their laundry. They won't be able to find in-their-home childcare (a nanny) and someone to take their baby each day to mom at work to breastfeed and someone to do their household chores for $700/month anywhere else. It just won't happen. That's about what infant DAYCARE costs per month here. Anyway, my problem today is that when I took the baby to her mom to nurse, her mom asked me "find" another coat to wear because her and the babies father think my coat is making the baby get a rash on her cheeks (not a bad rash, doesn't even show up everyday...it looks and seems more like a windburn to me, which due to our climate, it could be). It could also be that I don't use organic detergent like their baby is used to on her clothes. I also don't plan to start using that detergent, I like my scented Tide just fine thanks. It could also be my coat I suppose (an expensive columbia sportswear coat...not exactly a throwaway item). I do not own another coat. I did, and then I lost it and bought this one. Due to what they pay me, I cannot afford to go out and buy a new coat, that is very low on my priority list considering I can't afford to have the brakes replaced on my car right now, or heating oil for my house, because they aren't paying me well enough. And I have a baby on the way, his needs will always come before them wanting me to have a new coat. My question is: do I have reason to be annoyed that they would even ask me to get a new coat? It could just be that I'm overreacting, but I don't know. To me it seems like if clothes other than my perfectly good clothes are needed for the job for whatever reason, they should either provide it themselves, or provide me more funds to purchase a coat that would better suit their needs. And I know its a bad situation for me, but I'm working on finding a new (better paying and only part-time) job. In the meantime though, I have to deal with them. The position just isn't what I thought it would be, and its not working out. And these aren't the only issues really. Another issue is that they cosleep and babywear which is great for them, but considering she can't be with mom and dad all day long, and considering there is going to be another baby here very soon, I can't hold her all day. When I try to put her down, she screams and cries. Sometimes she's ok doing tummy or whatever for 5 minutes or so, but not longer than that, and for me to care for two babies is going to require her to be a tad more independent because I don't have enough hands to carry her all day long (nor do I want to carry her all day long) and also deal with the needs of my own child. They refuse to get her on any schedule also, and I know she's young, but its never too early to start I don't think. Even when she's asleep she only sleeps well right on top of someone, wakes up as soon as someone puts her down. Its a bad habit. She doesn't nap well during the day. They want her to sleep at night, and grumble at me when they come home and finally lay down with her and she sleeps for hours on end then won't sleep at night for them, but I can't get her to sleep without being on top of me. She screams and cries much of the day, which I'm quite worried will "rub off" on my baby...even in the womb I'm sure he can hear her. And it snowed here for a while in December and they asked me to pay a cab to take me to their house and back- the cab would have cost more than I make in a day working for them. The dad didn't have to work during this time because of the weather and mom was on maternity leave still, so it wasn't like they de
Pregnancy - 4 Answers
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1 :
I think you are being taken advantage of. I would sit down and tell them all this that you have told us, well, maybe not ALL of it. but tell them you do much more than any daycare would and you either need to be paid more or you will have to stop doing things like driving to the mothers work, doing the laundry, and paying for your own cab to help them out! Tell her that cab ride cost you more than you amke in a day. Tell her you can't afford a new coat because you aren't getting paid enough and have a baby on the way. If she doesn't understand or won't change her ways, then you need to high tail it out of their. It seems to me that once you have your baby, they will try to make you feel "lucky" to be bale to bring him to work with you and take advantage of you even more! Don't let this happen. Stand up for yourself, girl! I know this may seem like the only option you have open right now because of your stiuation, but you should at least try talking to both the mother and the father and come up with some kid of agreement. Even though chances are you may not find another job that will allow you to bring your baby, chances are also that they will not be able to find another nanny to do the things you do! Especially if they are refusing to raise their pay!
2 :
I think you should find another job, these people sound ridiculous, I think it's wrong for them to ask you to buy a new coat, if it's that big of a deal they should purchase one for you their self or give you the money for it. I think you're doing way to much for the pay you recieve, It sounds like this is your first child, I really think it would be overwhelming caring for two infants when you're a first time mom...... I would get a new job ASAP, you could find a lot better job, I don't know what to tell you about her sleeping habits, that is due to her schedule & what she is use to..... it sounds like she is a demanding little thing already...... Try your best to give her some things to entertain herself, I always set our son in his playpen or swing & he would play or watch a movie (curious buddies for his age) Best thing i can tell you to do, is get out of this job asap, i would give them your 2 weeks & start looking for another job, if you take another position as a nanny, make sure from day one it is written down in a contract, what your duties are, what is expected & the amount of pay, I think you should also make sure they pay for any extra expenses such as cab fair or gas to take the child somewhere, things like that should not come out of your pocket. Good Luck & Congratulations on your baby!!
3 :
they are really taking the p**s lol. you need to sit with them and tell them you need more money, you want to get there baby into a routine as it will be better for the futire, and that you are not buying a new coat! lol. i mean they are just treating you like a maid! i wouldnt put up with it. really do sit them down and talk to them, worst comes to worst leave them and get yourself a better paid job with better hours with no one to take advantage of you. plus you dont need the stress of a fussy baby when you are about to have a baby yourself, or the stress of that pair good luck with your baby aswel chick xx
4 :
W O W!! Where to begin... ok I think sounds like this is not a situation you need to continue with. You seem unhappy, and they are probably unhappy. If I were in your situation, I would turn in my notice now, and tell them that you will not be continuing as their nanny when your baby is born. That still gives them time to research to find someone new, and lets you keep looking for that new job yourself. However, you also need to consider the situation you are in. You will get to take your baby to work and you have a lot of freedom (not being tied into a cubicle or something). Unless you have another nanny position available, you'll have a hard time finding something that pays well enough to cover your bills & expenses AND pays childcare. Maybe you could try your hand at a daycare center as an assistant. They probably would let you take your child there for free at that point. Either way, you really need to sit down and logically weigh your situation out and if you decide to go, be respectful and give them some type of notice. If you decide maybe to stick it out, ask if you can talk about the situation. Maybe they would be willing to pay more if you offered to do more of the household duties (all laundry, dishes, general housekeeping). Also as the nanny, you should respect their wishes on child raising, but at the same time, you don't have to spoil their child--that's their job. Get the baby into a sleeping/playing routine, etc as if it were your own child. And after your baby is born, you may realize raising children (your's or someone else's) isn't as easy as black and white.
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