Is this relationship worth it?
Been engaged for 2 years to a man who has serious financial obligations to his ex and children. I like his kids but feel as though I can no longer pay half of our household bills, he makes about 4 times what I do. I'm a full time student and I work but it is not enough money. I'm tired of being left alone untill 10 every night. For the last year I took care of his elderly father who recently went into a nursing home- because I'm no longer doing this he says he can no longer subsidize my cell phone and 40 buck a week health insurance. I know his kids come first but should he cut me a break on the cell phone and insurance untill I finish school in 2 years? I feel as though 100 percent of my income is going to our house. I have a child who lives with us that I support entirely but with my income I cant subsidize his kids to. He pays there rent, tuition, books, utilities on apartment, and the ex 2200 a month- altogether he pays out about 65,000 a year which leaves us with little and my child really poor. Should I move into a cheap affordable appartment and go solo? Before you bash me and say we are not married keep in mind I pay half the house expenses on a house that I dont own and never will also I spent the last year taking care of an 86 year old man with alzheimers his father and it was not easy. I'm really glad his kids have no struggles financially but mine does.
Other - Family & Relationships - 3 Answers
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1 :
i think you may have to have a discussion with your fiance about this. But if the problem has reached a point where you feel that he gives more attention/money to his ex and kids maybe you should just tell him your moving out until you finish school or he can figure out what is important remember don't burn bridges just close them for maintenance
2 :
If I were you I wouldnt do it he is just being cheap and probably using you for you money so he dont have to spend his
3 :
This is where I stopped reading: "For the last year I took care of his elderly father who recently went into a nursing home- because I'm no longer doing this he says he can no longer subsidize my cell phone and 40 buck a week health insurance." Ok ... I'm not going to mince words or sugar coat this ... just so you know before you read: Your guy is a creep. He's a selfish, self-centered, tightwad JERK. I will now finish reading the rest of your post ... but I doubt I'll read anything to change my mind. Nope. I didn't read anything that's changed my mind. Your guy is being totally ridiculous to split hairs over money, when he makes 4 times what you do, and when he can CLEARLY SEE that you're struggling. What kind of cretin treats a woman like that? He doesn't respect you. He doesn't love you. Your kid is watching you and learning from you, how to be treated by a man. This is BAD right now. There's nothing positive I can say about any of this, hon. As tough love ... I have to tell you that you've made a mess out of this, and it kills me to say it. I KNOW that you're doing the best you can, and that your heart is in the right place ... but good intentions aren't the point here. You have to extricate yourself out of that house A S A P. You ran yourself ragged taking care of his father, and THIS IS HOW HE THANKS YOU !?!! HE'S A CREEP !!! What is so loving, tender, sweet, romantic and admirable about a guy who treats you like he's treating you? He doesn't RESPECT YOU !! You're not equals - he sees you AND TREATS YOU as someone beneath him in stature and income - and that's just sad. Basically ... he's a snob, and he's treating you like the hired help. Do whatever it takes, but get out. No this relationship isn't worth saving. Spend NOT ONE MORE DOLLAR on anything that doesn't involve taking care of yourself and your kid. Give him NOTHING. N o t h i n g. I know that your self-respect is around there somewhere ... make sure you figure out where he hid it, and take it BACK before you leave. I know ... some of this was harsh, but it's no worse than HOW HE IS TREATING YOU ! I just smacked you over the head with it. You probably didn't want to see it, but you have to, hon. *big hug* and best of luck to you
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